General Entry ..sumtym in Jan 2009

Sometimes I ask myself why... I lie here in my bed unable to sleep..more than often it happens when you are not tired.. But here I am tired as hell... Running very day for 13hours..to compete in this rat race.. I wonder as I invest my life into this routine what is it tht I wish to achieve... What am I deriving out of these voices I hear everyday.. Sometimes there are so many that I don't want to hear anything and just be in peace.. Where is this peace.. How can one be peaceful today..the doze of ambition that we take in everyday has led us to believe that this would help us attain nirvana.. Everyday I see people celebrate life..when we have a new born..today a 15month old child ,who can barely speak or even eat a proper grainualar meal knows how to operate an I pad...what are we creating.. The gap that the future is trying to bridge is coming in fast and it's possession is something that you can't escape... There is no morphine for an ailment called life.. Is that the we work hard everyday so tht we burnout faster.. Or is it to contribute...what is this contribution that we make in this make belief world.. With one dive in the sea the paradigm shifts...And we realise that we are the minority.. With 75% of earth being water ,why aren't we making the products for the aqua world and selling it to them for a few shells.. Isn't that the biggest potential market.. And yes these thoughts .. Today my mind finds a commercial value in peace.. We are so used to encashing each breath that we take that we miss out.. We miss out on our peace which is priceless.. Today as I lie in my bed with this over the top priced device that I have earned out of my sleepless nights I realise ... That I have paid to buy myself sleeplessness.. So what is the solution that I need ..what is the fix.. The rest is a permanent closure.. Catch your breadth ,you are running hard.. And if you can hear your heart beat..then maybe somewhere around ..there is 'peace'

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear..

If you have ever had a look at a rareview mirror i am sure you would have noticed this line..:"objects in the mirror are closer than they appear"..

i have somehow always smirked ,everytym i have had a look at it..

facinates me to let my gypsy imagination wander away to think what 'closeness' is..

is it just a mere physical evaluation of distance betwen two objects or much more..

then again it makes me feel that 'distance ' in itself is a very subjective word..



everyday when we look at the mirror and we see ourselves..is it that we are close enough to ouselves..

If yes then y is that people have the feeling of 'emptiness'..one should never feel alone..cus they various objects surround them...the physical proximity ....

but since we are not comodities we love to define ourselves with more of compassion..the physical closeness slowly liberates itself to the freedom of belonging ...

Trappedd...

Its again a constant struggle....struggle for a gypsy's sould traped into a social body...
sumtyms i feel tht is it a curse tht god gave me enough(food,shelter) so tht i could survive..had i not had tht comfort i would have been a scavenger too...facing survival and not thoughts...
even a calm individual subjecting to traits of anger can get repulsive when held up in a prison..

And today i have no doubts about the mental prison doing the same to me...
the gypsy's soul is wearing off its spirit and the enthusiasm is bruised with this limited survival..

The strong soaring wings are tempted to rule the sky,,,but the clipped and crippled reality taunts the mere thought..

The wild cannot be tamed..
Simetimes survival is just not phisycal..its mental too..

And the slow prisoned poisioned living makes a suddend end of life more tempting....

the dimensions of respect..

'respect' the word in itself has an 'honorary feel to it...
so when i use the word 'honorary' i am immediately reminded of all those addressing where individuals are as stated as "honorary" ...
In a social event ppl stand up or clap to reciprocate the word...
So now does that mean tht they are 'respected' too..because most of them are achievers...
Are achiever's entitled to such a term for their contribution and if yes then what does one has to justify on the fact of a simple 'child' demanding in an unruly manner,and he's said to be disrespecting the elder or the person who's been a victim of their' sugar cube tantrums...'

wasnt it the 'love' with which one had to earn 'respect'..
didnt god bless parents with expensive porcelain to which they could mould and create beautiful shapes..
and even if the shape doesnt look tht pretty ,dont they just realise tht they are the ones who have created this piece..
more than often 'not'...
and rather than enduring their creation they go on to sulk ,about how 'not nice' their pot is...and how the other pots are so pretty....and one can even store water in them.....the other pots are winners...cuz they are blessed with beauty as well as utility....
what the parents forget is if their pot is such..it was them who lack, in their' creativity'...

how do they expect the porcelain pot like child to accept /respect them ..when the love with which the they were to be moulded itself was coarse...
my repeated comparison of a child to porcelain clay stands because...of the fact the its porcelain tht is exclusive,gentle,beautiful & a piece of reflection of imprint of every hand tht has touched its surface..

and with this example i picture every single preacher and learner equation...a student teacher,employee- employer,husband wife and so on...

the term respect comes only after a bond has been nourished with compassion..
one can always be subjective...isnt it why the whole world wants to know what lies within or ahead whether its in form of astrology or sun sign or even taking up funny quizzes in magazines...

and when the shape of your porcelain(relation) is not as u had desired...u feel failed...
and rejection and decline of your own creation makes you feel even more worthless...if u r a parent u fell tht u could not do well with the upbringing of ur child, a boss was not competent enough for his subordinate,,and husband and wife feel undesired..
whatever the case is the pain is mutual...
after all all we cant defy Newton with his equal and opposite law...can we..!!!

So why dont i feel tht my porcelain pot is rather "unique" than " distorted"...and with this belief their might just be an observer who would glance at it and comment -----"is tht the most cutest lill pot ,,,right thr in the corner with a star like glaze to it"...
and thts exactly the moment your very own porcelain pot would look back and tell u--"tht its your care and affection tht i shine like a star"


" respect " is the emotion you feel.. and its eternal...no honorary word or statement can ever come even close even when uproared by millions...

enchanted..

firefly... u knw they always used to fascinate me so much..i use to love playing and adoring them ...they seemed magical to me..i mean comeonnnnnnnnnn...they glow...they fill the darkness with such soothing lights..and they fly..like angles...they r like stars...inn the sky...twinkling...u always feel drawn to them for no reason...get to knw..i saw them glow...it was my innocence,,my fairytale world once againnnnnnnnnn..the moon's not been talkin to me...the tress do...so i tried telling them..the i saw my worlddd....and things in themmmmmmmm.saw them after 9 yrs...u ll never b able to feel themmmm...i wanted to ask them y had they gone so far away frm me....i had almost forgot they exsist,,and y did they come now..i wanna b close...b enchanted,,,feel lostttttttt...so so llost...losssssssssssstttttttt,,,and not pretendd...just flyyyy...and glow....so natural..so sweett so amazinn... dew drops...

Sucess...slow poison to passion??

Decisions are often followed by confusion & dilemma.on whether the decisions incurred by an individual are in favour or against the tide ,of the vast ocean of life..

The fact is that one has to be prepared to face mishaps of the barbaric ocean,and conquer them to view the glorious horizon of victory….

Only on achieving this is an individual’s effort acknowledge,cuz now he can bestow and guide many more to explore and achieve….

Swayed by the glory and and illusioned by aura …every individual wants to start and achieve the very same contentment….
And while wishing so they fail to measure up the fact that to measure up to the sea one has to be visionary + navigator,,,least a excelled sailor…

And then you realize that it was never your interest to even swim…


Now just ask yourself is a person who has never ever been interested in sea, able enough to explore and understand what treasure and turmoil the Goliath has in store..at least David was skilled enough to sling pebbles and save his life ,,but what does one do when no skills come related…

This is just an example for all the students and also every individual (as I fell one always needs to keep the student inside him alive to grow….)who are indecisively torn over passion & practicality.. at times like these when talent is being taken over by grades achieved how does one survive and not only survive,,but also excel..

The choices one makes during his career are considered as the most important ones,,because after these are the skills he’s acquiring to last by him all through…
These skills would determine the prosperity of this certain individual…

If you interact with the kids today their vibrancy is contagious…the awareness and exposure they have these days is quiet enviable…the ease with which they adapt and operate every new gadget without even going through the instruction manual is something the older generation would always be amused of..
The drive and confidence they posses is something which cannot be bartered with..

But also is an interesting observation of how important monitory success has become to the generation today..
As India steps into a new era ,,and globalization being so prominent,,one wants and desires differently..
A simple meal is replaced by fancy dinners,,,and casual talks in parks have converted to coffee house conversations..

One cannot escape these obvious sights…and make us realise that smiles are proportional to the swipes of ur master card..and rare for thoose who afford their passion...

dimond drops...

When the illusionary sky gets full of thought ,it gifts me with its diamond drop...

To guard the survival of emotional hop, as the farmer protects his yielding crop..

Held by the oyster of these enchanting eyes,the rare drops fill in the presence of broken ties..

And to clear these glitters there's no mop...cuz these are not tears ,they r diamond drop..

If they are priced on their cut and polish, are thr any refunds to their dreams which remain demolished...
cuz they they r not just stones,they r precious to shop,,they are

These drop's are glacier's when emotions are cold,poised as they appear with their stories untold..
One spcific sound can cause the slop..cuz these are the sensitive diamond drops..

They glide in a pattern recklesly and do not stop,,not realising their worth when lost are the self indulged diamond drops...

they fill in the occasion in every form they exist...tht's y they are the drops ,which none can resist ...

In the bowl..

we never cry we never howl ,cuz we r d only two fishes in the bowl..

thr's no bait ,thr's no fear,,cuz to our captivator's we are dear..
circling around waving our fins...we move to ur ammusement limited in our rims..
to glorify ur sight u chose us on our colour ,and not on our life...
and we r the only one's who r not afraid of ur knife..
OOO sooo
we never cry we never howl,cuz we r d only two fishes in the bowl...

Thr's no need for us to barter & brawl , cuz every 3 seconds we r on a diffrent creative prowl..
with a blessed memory of only pleasures..isnt it a life of limitless treasures..
we never cry we never howl,,cuz we r the only two fishes in the bowl..

with no other element touching our territory,,to protect us we do not need a millitary..
and as we pass on with our thoughts into history..u would always go on trying to wade through our mystry..

to explore us u have to maybe commit a few sins.. but to drown in it is the only way in..
to swim in this bowl my dear..come invade and drop the rest in rear...
cuz in this sweet blue world ,,thr's no fowl,,
and hence my frien..
we never cry we never howl,cuz we r the only two fishes in the bowl..

Some times red sometyms blue...my mind cannot choose either among the two..

Its been long since i wrote..

Life got a little busy with events which left impact.

Marriage is one deceitful yet delightful word which leaves one with no clue on what to expect out of this bond.

Surprising it is how your surroundings change..

and alarming it is to think how you change..

In the process of trying to make life simpler we reach out to other bonds..

have you ever tried to wonder that we all apparently get into this whirlpool of relationship cause it somehow on the surface seems to sooth us..

in turn the responsibility doubles when one one has to wake up to the demands and desires of someone so unexpected...

And before you realise and figure out this new soul ..maybe u would be chosen by god to nurture another one...

It makes me wonder why is this association needed...and why are such responsibilities invited ..

Why is that an individual is socially incomplete somewhere without this "tagged better half"..

are we not complete the way we are..

The whole theory of understanding someone and attraction are explained by sections of science..but no scince explains this 'drive'..

The drive of this unnecessary celebration of union..

I often joke about the fact that , marriages are made lengthy, difficult and expensive so that people don't even think of having a second one..

Hey i m not a negative soul who doesnt believe in a relation..in fact i am quiet ammused with this miracle of "marriage"..

Being inclined to travelling ..i just know, how something which is unexplored is sooo inviting..

and hence i guess that's what a wanderer like me understands..though i detest permanence...but to wander alone without a caravan can also be quiet boring for a gypsy ;-)

What does love have to do with it...........

'Love'...Probably the word which in every sense is the only global word in this era of globalisation.. Needed,wanted and used by every single individual irrespective of religion,race,sex or what so ever distinguishable factor comes to your mind..
Even the management gurus and HR pundits have placed 'love ' on the "need" list..A list which has elements of survival,food,shelter etc..And yes we all 'need' love too...And with Love i mean every single relation you have and every single bond you share ..

IF THERE'S SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL "DESIRED" THEN IT IS 'LOVE'....So now i hope you will get the essence of my "love" which exists even without a sense of realisation of being "accepted" ,which in turn is a gesture of Love...And hence i hope by now you understand why is it categorised in the "need list".

As the commercial trend in today's world business, everything is marketable...basically our whole existence and survival seems to be a commercial business...When you happily pay an 'over the top' amount for your simple "coffee" you are being billed for your your "happiness"..and not your coffee...The more a place relaxes you or gives u an 'experience' ,the more is the moolah you are happily submitting...To the never ending loop of desires of fulfilment of one's need...
Which has been convincingly marketed as an "available "product ,which is complimentary at every mall's outlet..wrapped in the aroma of Lillis and poppies...and glittering with flashes of smiles ,happiness & love seems to be overflowing in these public arena's...And all of a sudden you see yourself smile too...And before you know it you would be coming back here ....
Its like Morphine you wont realise when it gets to you...And now while you are reading this ,you realise that you are an addict...And not of the people you go their with....LOVE'S LOST... The NEED'S evaporated...

But the doze of ambiance is so strong that it ll be while ,before you feel the "pinch"..
Till then..
The "happy hours" are calling my love...Are you listening...

In the battle of heart and mind...

Have you ever felt a constant tease in yourself with 'the devil' and 'the angel' and wondered how there's a repeated tug-of war going on always between our heart and mind..
Torn in the mix of cultural and modern mantras ,often lost.
Lost in a way that you don't wanna open up , cuz then you become venerable...and being closed wouldn't help you move, or i would rather say " flow with the' go' " and not "go with the flow"..
More than often ending up into funny situations where we ourselves fail to believe we are in..
With 'rejection' being so easy today and 'acceptance' getting harder..with everyone wanting to be the "people's person"...thr's a dim gleam for 'individualists' who have chosen either their 'mind' or 'heart'...and only thing driving these individuals on either side is 'passion' and 'belief'...

In love ,life, professionally and socially we more than often 'give in' to just 'plain breathing' and forget 'enjoying ' ..with every decision taken to progress life should get more cherish able with the imbalanced scales of pain and pleasure..

Circumstances will bow to your faith if you believe and have faith in your destiny...

In the name of 'The Religion' ..

Its strange to find how ppl in India react to incidents which have absolutely nothing which relates to them..
The outburst of the mob in punjab, causing chaos and destruction is a simple, yet strong example.
I love my country,and respect all religions, but i seriously feel that its sheer joblessness that leads ppl in india to mock something ,which is meant to be so personal..
Which other country in the world behaves in this manner...did the American's & European's start burning and ruining their national property when at 26/11 their national's were killed..
Why doesnt the preaching's resound in one's concience when it come's to facing the hardships of life ..religion being used as an escapade for every suffering , convincingly leaving it over a candle or a camphor stick's aroma to lead us to our inner peace..
Creator is one...
Destruction of god gifted valubles over man made religion is definetly a shameful succession of humans..