My friend !

Hey..writing after long...actually really long.. This post of mine is dedicated to a friend..who kinda reminded me of a side of me which I was going to let go off... Sometimes you need to create strong impressions in the past such that when you start forgetting that you ever had a grip on it..it's lets you know that you did hold on to something ...something close...something you did hold onto so tight ,that you created an impression..an impression of you !! Which was an expression of you .. I feel people around you tell you a lot about you ...the you that you never knew!!!that you that you ,yourself are constantly discovering ! That you that you don't want anyone else to know!! That you that makes you wonder 'who are you' ! Yes !! Who am I !! I have been avoiding to write for the last two years!! I don't really know if I am the same 'me 'still !! And if I am the same me then should I be that way now ! Thoughts thoughts!! And then there is SILENCE ! Have i earned a silent friend ! If not then whom do I talk to now ! I see a lot of chaos around !!life surely ain't getting easy! There are complications all around ! People expecting ! People restricting ! People chanting ... All that they have to... But I hold my friend's hand ! And all is fine... I am not into morphine..but I feel passive!! Passive enough that now my reactions seem funny ! I am angry ,or happy , or sad because that's is display of normal emotions..but do i feel ? I feel i enact ! Do you play fair ?Through life and people you gain ! You gain the drama that you have to carry on till the time you learn something new to enact!! Ape's descendants aren't we ;).. From one survival trick to another ! And all is watched ..and all is expressed ..as with the silent friend we walk along ....don't know for how long...but we walk along...

General Entry ..sumtym in Jan 2009

Sometimes I ask myself why... I lie here in my bed unable to sleep..more than often it happens when you are not tired.. But here I am tired as hell... Running very day for 13hours..to compete in this rat race.. I wonder as I invest my life into this routine what is it tht I wish to achieve... What am I deriving out of these voices I hear everyday.. Sometimes there are so many that I don't want to hear anything and just be in peace.. Where is this peace.. How can one be peaceful today..the doze of ambition that we take in everyday has led us to believe that this would help us attain nirvana.. Everyday I see people celebrate life..when we have a new born..today a 15month old child ,who can barely speak or even eat a proper grainualar meal knows how to operate an I pad...what are we creating.. The gap that the future is trying to bridge is coming in fast and it's possession is something that you can't escape... There is no morphine for an ailment called life.. Is that the we work hard everyday so tht we burnout faster.. Or is it to contribute...what is this contribution that we make in this make belief world.. With one dive in the sea the paradigm shifts...And we realise that we are the minority.. With 75% of earth being water ,why aren't we making the products for the aqua world and selling it to them for a few shells.. Isn't that the biggest potential market.. And yes these thoughts .. Today my mind finds a commercial value in peace.. We are so used to encashing each breath that we take that we miss out.. We miss out on our peace which is priceless.. Today as I lie in my bed with this over the top priced device that I have earned out of my sleepless nights I realise ... That I have paid to buy myself sleeplessness.. So what is the solution that I need ..what is the fix.. The rest is a permanent closure.. Catch your breadth ,you are running hard.. And if you can hear your heart beat..then maybe somewhere around ..there is 'peace'

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear..

If you have ever had a look at a rareview mirror i am sure you would have noticed this line..:"objects in the mirror are closer than they appear"..

i have somehow always smirked ,everytym i have had a look at it..

facinates me to let my gypsy imagination wander away to think what 'closeness' is..

is it just a mere physical evaluation of distance betwen two objects or much more..

then again it makes me feel that 'distance ' in itself is a very subjective word..



everyday when we look at the mirror and we see ourselves..is it that we are close enough to ouselves..

If yes then y is that people have the feeling of 'emptiness'..one should never feel alone..cus they various objects surround them...the physical proximity ....

but since we are not comodities we love to define ourselves with more of compassion..the physical closeness slowly liberates itself to the freedom of belonging ...

Trappedd...

Its again a constant struggle....struggle for a gypsy's sould traped into a social body...
sumtyms i feel tht is it a curse tht god gave me enough(food,shelter) so tht i could survive..had i not had tht comfort i would have been a scavenger too...facing survival and not thoughts...
even a calm individual subjecting to traits of anger can get repulsive when held up in a prison..

And today i have no doubts about the mental prison doing the same to me...
the gypsy's soul is wearing off its spirit and the enthusiasm is bruised with this limited survival..

The strong soaring wings are tempted to rule the sky,,,but the clipped and crippled reality taunts the mere thought..

The wild cannot be tamed..
Simetimes survival is just not phisycal..its mental too..

And the slow prisoned poisioned living makes a suddend end of life more tempting....

the dimensions of respect..

'respect' the word in itself has an 'honorary feel to it...
so when i use the word 'honorary' i am immediately reminded of all those addressing where individuals are as stated as "honorary" ...
In a social event ppl stand up or clap to reciprocate the word...
So now does that mean tht they are 'respected' too..because most of them are achievers...
Are achiever's entitled to such a term for their contribution and if yes then what does one has to justify on the fact of a simple 'child' demanding in an unruly manner,and he's said to be disrespecting the elder or the person who's been a victim of their' sugar cube tantrums...'

wasnt it the 'love' with which one had to earn 'respect'..
didnt god bless parents with expensive porcelain to which they could mould and create beautiful shapes..
and even if the shape doesnt look tht pretty ,dont they just realise tht they are the ones who have created this piece..
more than often 'not'...
and rather than enduring their creation they go on to sulk ,about how 'not nice' their pot is...and how the other pots are so pretty....and one can even store water in them.....the other pots are winners...cuz they are blessed with beauty as well as utility....
what the parents forget is if their pot is such..it was them who lack, in their' creativity'...

how do they expect the porcelain pot like child to accept /respect them ..when the love with which the they were to be moulded itself was coarse...
my repeated comparison of a child to porcelain clay stands because...of the fact the its porcelain tht is exclusive,gentle,beautiful & a piece of reflection of imprint of every hand tht has touched its surface..

and with this example i picture every single preacher and learner equation...a student teacher,employee- employer,husband wife and so on...

the term respect comes only after a bond has been nourished with compassion..
one can always be subjective...isnt it why the whole world wants to know what lies within or ahead whether its in form of astrology or sun sign or even taking up funny quizzes in magazines...

and when the shape of your porcelain(relation) is not as u had desired...u feel failed...
and rejection and decline of your own creation makes you feel even more worthless...if u r a parent u fell tht u could not do well with the upbringing of ur child, a boss was not competent enough for his subordinate,,and husband and wife feel undesired..
whatever the case is the pain is mutual...
after all all we cant defy Newton with his equal and opposite law...can we..!!!

So why dont i feel tht my porcelain pot is rather "unique" than " distorted"...and with this belief their might just be an observer who would glance at it and comment -----"is tht the most cutest lill pot ,,,right thr in the corner with a star like glaze to it"...
and thts exactly the moment your very own porcelain pot would look back and tell u--"tht its your care and affection tht i shine like a star"


" respect " is the emotion you feel.. and its eternal...no honorary word or statement can ever come even close even when uproared by millions...

enchanted..

firefly... u knw they always used to fascinate me so much..i use to love playing and adoring them ...they seemed magical to me..i mean comeonnnnnnnnnn...they glow...they fill the darkness with such soothing lights..and they fly..like angles...they r like stars...inn the sky...twinkling...u always feel drawn to them for no reason...get to knw..i saw them glow...it was my innocence,,my fairytale world once againnnnnnnnnn..the moon's not been talkin to me...the tress do...so i tried telling them..the i saw my worlddd....and things in themmmmmmmm.saw them after 9 yrs...u ll never b able to feel themmmm...i wanted to ask them y had they gone so far away frm me....i had almost forgot they exsist,,and y did they come now..i wanna b close...b enchanted,,,feel lostttttttt...so so llost...losssssssssssstttttttt,,,and not pretendd...just flyyyy...and glow....so natural..so sweett so amazinn... dew drops...

Sucess...slow poison to passion??

Decisions are often followed by confusion & dilemma.on whether the decisions incurred by an individual are in favour or against the tide ,of the vast ocean of life..

The fact is that one has to be prepared to face mishaps of the barbaric ocean,and conquer them to view the glorious horizon of victory….

Only on achieving this is an individual’s effort acknowledge,cuz now he can bestow and guide many more to explore and achieve….

Swayed by the glory and and illusioned by aura …every individual wants to start and achieve the very same contentment….
And while wishing so they fail to measure up the fact that to measure up to the sea one has to be visionary + navigator,,,least a excelled sailor…

And then you realize that it was never your interest to even swim…


Now just ask yourself is a person who has never ever been interested in sea, able enough to explore and understand what treasure and turmoil the Goliath has in store..at least David was skilled enough to sling pebbles and save his life ,,but what does one do when no skills come related…

This is just an example for all the students and also every individual (as I fell one always needs to keep the student inside him alive to grow….)who are indecisively torn over passion & practicality.. at times like these when talent is being taken over by grades achieved how does one survive and not only survive,,but also excel..

The choices one makes during his career are considered as the most important ones,,because after these are the skills he’s acquiring to last by him all through…
These skills would determine the prosperity of this certain individual…

If you interact with the kids today their vibrancy is contagious…the awareness and exposure they have these days is quiet enviable…the ease with which they adapt and operate every new gadget without even going through the instruction manual is something the older generation would always be amused of..
The drive and confidence they posses is something which cannot be bartered with..

But also is an interesting observation of how important monitory success has become to the generation today..
As India steps into a new era ,,and globalization being so prominent,,one wants and desires differently..
A simple meal is replaced by fancy dinners,,,and casual talks in parks have converted to coffee house conversations..

One cannot escape these obvious sights…and make us realise that smiles are proportional to the swipes of ur master card..and rare for thoose who afford their passion...